The Unexpected

Life has been crazy to say the least. Lots of twists and turns, trials, changes, let downs, questions and so forth.

But we wouldn’t be continually growing, we wouldn’t have a cause to draw closer to our Lord if it weren’t for such “disturbances”.

Are they really disturbances? I am a type A person. I like things in order, logical, explainable, routine, predictable. I have learned that when MY plans get disrupted or changed I feel like I am in a spiral spinning fast out of control. But then I am left wondering who am I to be in control. It’s not for me to be in control, not now not never. That’s God’s job. He is the creator, author, finisher. He sees the chaos (or so I feel that’s what it is.) He knows my heart longings, my desires, my confusion. He meets me where I am at, even on days when praying is hard.

These testing and trials are only momentary. I know they are meant for growth and a deeper relationship. But what my heart says and what my head say are conflicting. Where is my trust? Am I adult enough to trust in My God to work it all out for good?

In the past two weeks our plans have been disrupted, faced with tons of unknowns, left confused, asked tons of questions, seen loss, cried numerous tears, felt heartbreak for numerous reasons. But with all that we have also seen God’s faithfulness in things not being worse, His protection, His provision, His love and care, we have felt His peace, rested in His comfort, and laid a lot at His feet. He is ever present, even in hard and trying times. Why does it take highly emotional and unexpected things to bring us to the ultimate point of yielding and surrendering to our Savior and His plans for us?

Do I want to repeat these past weeks? No. Do I wish them on anyone? Never. Do I understand them? Not really. Am I willing to seek God and learn from what He is trying to teach us through it all? Yes. Am I willing to lay my desires at His feet? Yes.

These past two weeks have reinforced the truths I hold dear about my Lord.

I was reminded of this song I was taught when I went to Nigeria.

-0- (33)

In English it reads—

I must go with Jesus anywhere

No matter the roughness of the road

I must go, I must go

It doesn’t say I will go, I may go, I might go….It says I MUST go. “When God calls us to it, He will bring us through it.” As a child of the King, we are obligated to go where He calls us to, go through what He has laid before us and to seek Him in the process. So despite the aching we are feeling now, we know it’s only temporary. How great is our God to love us through good and bad, easy and hard? May we continue to feel Him close no matter what we are going through.

Anniversaries aren’t worth celebrating

Controversial title I know, but my blog, my thoughts! :p (I like a little attention grabbing.) 

Anyway, the next two days mark events that I would rather have not happened in my life. Followed by the most excruciating weeks I have ever known. As this year marks the ten years since the motorcycle accident, I am keenly aware of God’s hand through the entire trial.  I realize that had God’s hand not been on the entire event (link overload) (read posts https://godsducks.wordpress.com/2008/09/04/there-you-are/, https://godsducks.wordpress.com/2008/09/05/journal-entry-from-2003-6/, https://godsducks.wordpress.com/2008/09/05/journal-entry-from-2003-6/, https://godsducks.wordpress.com/2008/09/07/journal-entry-from-2003-7/, https://godsducks.wordpress.com/2008/09/08/filling-in-the-blanks/, https://godsducks.wordpress.com/2008/09/09/filling-in-the-blanks-part-2/, https://godsducks.wordpress.com/2008/09/11/pictures-and-thoughts/, https://godsducks.wordpress.com/2008/09/12/final-accident-entry/, https://godsducks.wordpress.com/2010/09/06/not-beyond-your-strength/, https://godsducks.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/and-yet-again/) things would be drastically different.

But regardless of all I have learned and gained through this experience, it is really one of those anniversaries that isn’t worthy of celebrating but definitely worth remembering.

The other is that of being flooded out by Hurricane Irene and Tropical Storm Lee.

I haven’t blogged much about this one….I guess there is just so much wrapped up in it.

(https://godsducks.wordpress.com/2011/11/, https://godsducks.wordpress.com/2012/09/)

I have had every intention of playing with photoshop to put out combined photos so you can see the vastness, heaviness, amazingness, and horriblity of the whole situation. We are very aware of the fact that there were those who had it far worse then we did. And we are very aware of our many blessings through the whole situation. But it is still an open wound needing to be healed. Two years have past and it still feel like it happened just yesterday. The trauma a natural disaster releases on one’s life is very great. I am so glad we have a Christian community to surround and love us, but it is only within the last 6 months that people have really begun to grasp the emotional trauma we have endured since then. God is gracious and we are slow. He is continuing to heal us, help us, and strengthen us. And for this I am so glad we serve such an awesome God. So though two years are here, this is one anniversary I am not going to celebrate, I will remember but with fear and trembling.

Not all anniversaries are joyous. Some are painful! We need to be watchful to “weep with those who weep” when such anniversaries arise. God is an awesome God, loving God, healing God, and caring God. We all go through times of trial and struggle, the question is what will we do with those times? Will we allow God to grow us through it? Will we allow God to provide? Will we allow God to carry us? I have learned a lot from these events, and for that I am grateful. I would have never learned a lot if it had not been for these. But I would never wish these on an enemy. Without God I can’t imagine how anyone can get through the tough times. God gives us hope and assurance that things will work out for the better in the long run. So I leave you to ponder these thoughts and some songs that helped me through.

The Flood

http://youtu.be/ohLfJDKSv0U (Praise you in the storm)

http://youtu.be/1CSVqHcdhXQ (Blessings)

http://youtu.be/BeTu8twnGvU (Walk on Water)

http://youtu.be/pFqGSKcyvbc (What it Feels Like)

The Accident

http://youtu.be/8KF7033dm18 (All in All)

http://youtu.be/zB0Yh_HS19I (Heal the Wound)